In 2002, a youth evangelist introduced me to the prophecy about 2012, emphasizing that it was only ten years away and that we should strive to be part of the 'small flock.'

From that moment, my life changed significantly. I joined a group of like-minded young people, bonding over shared beliefs, studying, presenting, evangelizing, and even taking on church cleaning duties, all while nurturing our dream of the kingdom of heaven.

Worldly matters no longer held any importance—success, money, jobs, resumes, or even social relationships were irrelevant unless they were connected to the church. Even parents who weren’t aligned with our faith became people to reject. We created a world of our own.

Some of us became seminary students, others pastors' wives, deacons, or senior pastors. We believed we were fulfilling our God-given talents. I eventually married, but things like having a happy family or focusing on my child’s education didn’t matter.

Shortly after, believing we would soon enter heaven, I focused on addressing my shortcomings. I left my nonverbal, crying child at church to study scripture and evangelize. Despite my child’s distress, I convinced myself that this was atonement for my sins in heaven. Holding back tears, I turned my back, believing it was all part of paying the price for my past wrongdoings.

Through all of this, my entire focus remained on 2012. I plugged my ears and closed my eyes to doubt, telling myself that this church was my last hope.

However, 2012 came and went, and nothing happened.

Even so, I wasn’t too worried. We still had 'Heavenly Mother,' and she reassured us:
"Don’t worry. You will surely enter the kingdom of heaven where there is no sorrow, pain, or suffering."

We comforted each other:
"Of course, we shouldn’t worry!"
"Heavenly Mother is with us!"

Then came new claims:
"She is standing at the door."
"You can hear the footsteps."
"She will arrive very soon."

But Jang Gil-ja, the so-called 'Mother,' kept offering vague explanations. Soon, the blame shifted to us:
"It’s because of the members’ behavior."
"It’s because of their hearts, their personalities, their attitudes, their words, and their actions."

I began to wonder: Are we truly expected to become perfect beings on this earth? Is that even possible? And when will the 144,000 'last members' finally be found?

I started to feel exhausted, and I wasn’t the only one. Even those who once encouraged us to quit worldly jobs and focus on God’s work began to leave for work themselves. Slowly, people started disappearing from church.

In my own life, I saw my child’s emotional and educational development suffer. I neglected my family, leaving my spouse detached from the household, and our financial situation worsened. My health deteriorated, and guilt consumed me. I felt like a sinner condemned for past transgressions in heaven, and my confidence and self-esteem hit rock bottom.